One of the primary facets of our Whole Self is the Ego. In its most simple terms, the Ego represents and attempts to react and express in accordance of who I think I am. Remember, we are SO much MORE than who we “think” we are. This layer of awareness is not a bad thing necessarily; rather it is just grossly incomplete. It is the side of us that gets easily offended or put off, wants to limit what others see and think about us, is highly opinionated, sometimes judgmental, is quick to speak and reluctant to listen, is overly prideful sometimes, and is generally responsible for most of our upsets. Being mindful of the times when our Ego is running our “inner show” is incredibly valuable!
I call this practice Ego Mindfulness.
The Ego has an agenda that centers around taking in information that suits, fits, or is compatible with “who I Think I am”. No fault of its own ways, the Ego left unchecked or out of touch with higher aspects of our Self, will be left exposed in the winds of our insecurities – whether we actually say it out loud or not.
(We know when we are feeling these ways, whether we speak it or not. One of the greatest practices we can develop for ourselves is to pay close attention to our feelings from the inside out, slow them down, and attempt to Not act on them.)
So one might ask, “Why are we tempted to “be right”, cast judgment, be offended, etc.. etc… etc..?”
The explanation is easy to say but but more wordy for this blog format to fully understand. Suffice to say that one of the primary tools of the Ego is the Need To Be Right. This nasty little habit of the Ego may sound harmless but its damage goes deeper than we think.
1 – When we are in this grip of needing to be right, we are essentially closed off to authentic communication and in more of “winner take all” and defensive postures. This creates trust issues and emotional distance.
2- While we are competing and defending, we are essentially eroding connection and our sense of open mindedness. These are 2 qualities that keep us more optimistically centered and present.
3- When we are in the mode to be right, we are far away from being present and we are not present or calm – 2 qualities that help us to maintain a sense of balance through thick or thin. In essence, while we are in the state of needing to be right, we are working out the wrong emotional and psychological muscles!
For more help on implementing Ego Mindfulness practices and other productive Self Awareness strategies that will help you expose and address these needs for yourself or your team, contact Joseph Noecker, MA, LMHC at joe@centerforselfbalance.com.
www.centerforselfbalance.com